LoveTrust and psycho-cinematic experiences

Love and trust are synonymous, at least for me. However, I never really had to test that rule until recently ( or maybe I have and it just hadn’t been so major) when I realized that perhaps I tend to disproportionately equate the two.

And I find that I don’t have a problem with it. I could even say it’s what gets me through life, sometimes. That I can think hey, its ok, I love that person so I trust them with this. Can the two ever be separate? And if they can be, is that a good thing? Second guessing a person.. that used to come easily to me. Now, not so much. And I like that. I like that my love blinds me. That there is a softer landing pad. That’s ironic though. The rose tinted glasses, a state I love being in.

People forget to feel what they are meant to feel, no matter what lays in store for them. The constant fear that the person you love is going to betray you? Yeah, it’s a possibility. But you are, in essence, betraying them by being paranoid about it. And I realized that my pre-conceived notions of myself are breaking, one by one, every day. It’s like I watch myself in a movie, trying to guess what my next action will be and then what I do in the movie completely surprises the audience me. The distancing ? It’s a fun game to play while taking a break from reality.

And while we’re on the subject of reality..

If my life was actually a movie I wouldn’t want it to be a romantic comedy, although I love to watch all the time. There’s no room for realness. There’s room for heartwrenching dialogues that you wished someone would say to you. There’s room for happy endings, for perfect movie kisses and immaculately groomed characters.

No, my life isn’t a movie. My lines aren’t scripted by anyone but me, and sometimes I doubt even if I have any real say over what I, well, say. But there are moments when I get my heart melting dialogues. And my happy-ending-to-situations. And the best part is?

It’s all real life.

Faye is… well, now, Faye is special, isn’t she?


One of my favorite movies of all time, “That Thing You Do”, was playing on tv today and I managed to catch my favorite bit. Guess which part it is! (hint: it might have something to do with the video!) Warning: very mushy :)

I love the character of Faye in this movie. Especially because she doesn’t try and deny things, or throw tantrums. She gives in when she has to. No, not when she has to. When she wants to. And she does it with no fuss.

So it comes as no surprise that my favorite dialogue from the movie is one of hers, when she is talking to Jimmy :

“I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you – kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don’t mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.”

This ofcourse is closley followed by one of Guy’s (sigh) dialogues, from when he is talking to Del Paxton :

“I’m Guy Patterson, I’m from Erie, Pennsylvania, I’m in a band called The Wonders and we just cut a record, we’re out here on the coast and I play the drums and I have all your records well not all of them but a lot of them but ah at least I did until some of them got swiped when I was stationed in Germany and you were playing in Germany at the time that I was stationed there, but you know what I couldn’t see you because you were playing in Hamburg and I was stationed in Munich but I listen to your records and I think you’re great.

[takes a breath]

You are my biggest fan.”

Man, I love this movie!