And I will try to fix you.

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

- Fix You (Coldplay)

This song always puts things in perespective for me. Always. It has this power of sitting me down, face-to-face and saying look, shit happens. Chris Martin may have written this song for Gwenyth Paltrow after her father died, but everytime I listen to this song, it hits a raw nerve somewhere.

“Stuck in reverse” is a phenomenon I am slowly getting used to. It’s something I love at times, and I detest it at other moments. When I crave a whirlwind, a gentle steady breeze is a bit of a let down but as I get older, I realise I’d rather have the breeze. In all the blur of activity, listening to this song is a translucency process.

I become easier to read for myself.

So if there’s anyone fixing me right now, Chris Martin, it’s me.

And now the loops are reminiscing
Recurring dreams of minor chords
Metered time
Muted chimes find the beat
-Maria Taylor “Song Beneath the Song”

It feels like I can breathe again.

It might be the rain, or the fact that I’m lying on my bed listening to it. Or just that I have nowhere to be except here right now. I have nobody to be with right at this moment but myself.

There are times when I long for moments like these. When the light, and the pace of everything is right, is blended into now. When the words flow easily. When I have time to think what I am thinking, and to think about thinking about something else, just because I can.

I can fall asleep now, if I want to. Or lie wide awake, just the same.

It’s the middle of the week, I’m in love, and it’s raining.