Writing

Posted on August 16, 2009 by Geetanjali

I can write. I know I can. Sometimes its the easiest thing in the world, and sometimes the blank white screen is most intimidating. But when the words come, I know they are the right ones.

I trust the words that flow out, simply because there’s a reason why one was formed and another drifted off to be used later. I rarely edit what I write (not a good thing all the time) because then it isn’t me anymore, it isn’t me sitting in the same space as those words. We need to be on the same page literally, the words need to have the same importance as me creating them. Otherwise I kill their tiny little squiggly lives, like mosquitoes being squished.

I write for me, and I watch her write for adulation. Who gets it, then? He, who is forming all those ideas in her head? What is the difference between them. I can’t see it. Hypocrite I want to shout, but she wont hear me. Won’t listen. It’s only the sound of one voice that will spur her on.

So, my words and I, we will sit and wait.

And no, I do not have MPD.

Zip.

Posted on July 29, 2009 by Geetanjali

It’s amazing how judgemental I’ve become lately. That may sound a little smug, but really, it is the truth. Sometimes it feels like I’m pushing againt a stone wall, thats set in it’s ways. A wall I have to scale eventually, and I want to be close to doing that.

College is college. I may have become bitchier, but restraint is a quality I’ve learnt to appreciate a heck of a lot. Glaring holes in the tapestry, the thread is wearing away and maybe I feel like tugging at a loose end just to watch the whole thing unravel, but that will happen on its own if I wait long enough. We all love watching people get put in their places, but I know it will be my turn soon. There are so many chances to slip up, to let go of something thats been in my reach all this while, and now suddenly that need to retain that sense of being me in this class of immensely talented individuals is overwhelming, even if its only in my head.

Often, judgement feels like the only thing thats mine anymore. That the words in my head are in their safest place, where nobody can get at them but me. I guess that’s why there hasn’t been much blogging lately.

Self, always remember at the end of the day, I am still that girl who prefers to sit in the far left corner of the room, but censorship will get me nowhere.

And I will try to fix you.

Posted on July 25, 2009 by Geetanjali

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

- Fix You (Coldplay)

This song always puts things in perespective for me. Always. It has this power of sitting me down, face-to-face and saying look, shit happens. Chris Martin may have written this song for Gwenyth Paltrow after her father died, but everytime I listen to this song, it hits a raw nerve somewhere.

“Stuck in reverse” is a phenomenon I am slowly getting used to. It’s something I love at times, and I detest it at other moments. When I crave a whirlwind, a gentle steady breeze is a bit of a let down but as I get older, I realise I’d rather have the breeze. In all the blur of activity, listening to this song is a translucency process.

I become easier to read for myself.

So if there’s anyone fixing me right now, Chris Martin, it’s me.

Flying, in a sense

Posted on March 27, 2009 by Geetanjali

I love airports. It might have to do with the fact that I love flying, but I really do love airports.

I love sitting outside the ‘Arrival’ area, watching people. I know it’s creepy, in fact a lot of people could be wondering ‘Ok who is this creepy girl and why is she watching me’, but I really can’t help myself. I smile when I watch the two little hyper boys run towards their grinning grandparents, each little boy attempting to push the heavy baggage carts. I tear up (just a little) as I watch aging parents embrace the son they probably haven’t seen for while as he walks out, probably just off a flight from the US. I scoff at the all white netas, the ones nobody knows, as they walk out with folded hands looking for the garlands that wont greet them, hoping that somebody will notice the useless posse of harried looking PA’s around them, and maybe give them some importance.

But of all the things the scene that I love most to watch are the ones which involve the shy married/engaged couple, probably a husband returning from a business trip, as he catches sight of his wife, the self-conscious smiles, the words of greeting, and then surprising both of them, the arm slung across her shoulders pulling her into his embrace, as they make their way home.

Darcy.

Posted on May 25, 2008 by Geetanjali

Mr. Darcy: You must know… surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I’d scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

Random know-more-about-this-blogger thing

Posted on April 30, 2008 by Geetanjali

Tagged by Karthik ( BTW Karthik, I’m still reeling from the shock that you actually got yourself to do this thing!)

5 things you wish you could say to people

Stop talking.
What happened to you?
Stop saying you’re fat. I know you’re not, you know you’re not and everybody around you knows you’re not so I don’t really see the point of you going on about this invisible “flab”.
Stop pretending you don’t like chocolate when I know you do. Actually, stop pretending you don’t like food when I know you do.
Grow up. Seriously.

8 things about me

I’m 18 (yay)
I love Pride and Prejudice so much that I have an urge to pick up a copy every time I visit a bookstore.
I am a GIMP addict. When bored, I Gimp.
I like Blackcurrant ice tea. When given the choice between Peach and Lemon ice tea, I prefer Peach.
I randomly look up people’s names on Google to see what results come up. Does that scare you?
I love people watching. Often, I stare out of the window and concoct fictitious backgrounds and lives for individuals as they pass by me
I want to adopt every stray kitten/puppy I meet.
I take something to read with me no matter where I’m going.

One thing I wish I never did

Hmmm toughie. I guess taking History in the 11th and 12th grade.

Three turn offs

People who always think they are right
Lecherous men
Fake laughs

4 things I want to do before I die

Go to Paris.
Walk on a cobbled street in London
Get married.
Interview Rahul Dravid.

One confession

I get paranoid very easily. And almost always, I get paranoid unnecessarily. To top things off, I don’t get paranoid about things I should actually be getting paranoid about. That might sound contradictory but its not. Let me give you an example: The one time I got “chucked” out of class because a bunch of friends and I were 7 minutes (I counted) late, I was very close to a nervous break down because I thought I was going to be expelled ( I never hear the end of this one). Ok, I just realized giving away a time when I should have been paranoid and I wasn’t isn’t a very smart thing to do on a public blog. Heh.

I tag : Aaskie, The Dove Next Door, Stuti and anybody else who wants to do this!

geetanjali

Category Archives: Random